I Failed My First Attempt At Building Community
Ten years ago, I started my first business, a non-profit.
I was passionate, my mission was solid, and I had vision. I did my research and I was doing work that actually resonated.
The youth were engaged.
They showed up.
They were growing in real time.
But attendance was inconsistent parents liked the idea but didn't see the value enough to bring their kids. I looked for sponsorships with local businesses and continually came up short. As a college student with limited funds months away from graduation, I made a tough decision to end my program three years after it was founded. This felt like a failure to me and for a while it haunted me.
I remembered how the lack of support made me feel inadequate.
Parents weren’t as involved as I expected. The broader community wasn’t showing up the way I thought they would.
And for a while, I thought:
“They just don’t care.”
"They don't see me as the right person for the job."
“They don’t see the value.”
I thought I had a people problem, but that wasn’t the truth.
At least not in the way I thought, the truth was I skipped steps.
I thought my only stakeholders were the youth and their parents. And even then, I focused almost entirely on the youth. I didn’t take the time to really get to know the parents, understand their perspective, or build trust with them early on.
Since then, I've learned a lot about what it truly means to have and built community. Maybe you're like I was and you believe simply living close to people, going to church, or schools is automatic community. While this is true in the geographic sense, physical proximity is not what helps sustain community focused initiatives.
What I didn’t realize then is that this is where many of us get it wrong. We assume community is already there, just waiting to support what we build. We expect connection without taking the time to create it. We move forward with ideas before we’ve truly understood the people they’re meant for.
Looking back, my program didn’t fail because the work wasn’t good. It struggled because the foundation wasn’t there.
And that’s what I want to unpack, because this is one of the most overlooked reasons community programs/initiatives don’t last.
The Most Overlooked Part
When people think about starting or growing a community program, they usually focus on:
The structure
The activities
The resources
The funding
But one of the most overlooked pieces is this:
Community.
Not the idea of community or the expectation of community but the actual, intentional building of it. Here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t expect support from people you haven’t built relationship with.
The Assumption That Holds People Back
A lot of us operate from a place of assumption:
“If what I’m doing is good, people will support it.” “If the youth benefit or it decreases crime, the community will have to show up.”
The truth is that people support what they feel connected to, where they feel seen, and they invest in what they understand.
That understanding requires intentionality in close relationship.
Social Media
We live in a time where it’s easy to think visibility equals connection.
Post about it. Share it. Invite people.
But:
Awareness doesn’t build trust alone. Proximity does.
Community is built:
In conversations
In shared spaces
Over time
It’s built when people feel like they’re part of something, not just invited to it.
Where to Start
If you’re realizing there are gaps, that means more room for clarity.
And clarity gives you the chance to build differently.
I put together a guide that walks through:
Why most youth programs struggle to build real community
How to identify and connect with the right stakeholders
Where to actually go to start building those relationships
If you’re serious about building something that lasts, this is where it starts.
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